The end is nigh...

It is day two of my last week of being a student and I've got the fear! After four years of being a student over the last few weeks I have been eagerly counting down to this week but now that its here I am filled with dread! Sunday is the last performance of Godspell, our end of year musical, and I am anticipating it in much the same way as I suspect Anne Boleyn did the guillotine! 


The 'real world' as it is known by us studenty types is a scary place to venture out into when you have been comfortably within the confines of structures education establishments for almost the entirety of your life. University is safe. You get the freedom of moving away from home with the comfort of a student loan to aid you financially and a ready made friendship group within your college. You also get staff on hand to guide and advise and peer group going through the same struggles as you, on hand with  shoulder to cry on. Compared to this safety blanket of education, leaving college and getting a 'real job' is a terrifying prospect.


I am however looking forward to actually having an income. Student loans don't go very far in London with high rent prices, travel cards, and a generally higher cost of living. hopefully I will soon be earning enough money to a) survive, b) save, and c) have some extra cash for actually having a social life of some description.
This would be ideal as whilst I can survive and socialise on my current budget there is no margin for saving towards my impending wedding!! 


The other big worry is 'What if I never see anyone again?' But after some consideration, there are a limited number of people that I would actively make an effort to keep in touch with myself. I guess this is another one of those points in your life when you realise who is truly a friend and who was just a passing acquaintance. It happened at the end of school, it happened when I moved away from Plymouth, and I am sure it will happen again now. However, real true friends will always be there no matter how little you see each other, and those are the friendships that really count. So it is a very silly worry to have!


The dread is accompanied by excitement, and you never know what life is going to throw at you next so you might as well just go with it and enjoy it while you can. So here is to my last week of student life! I will be making the most of it!

Living Dolls

Here is a review I recently wrote about the book Living Dolls by Natasha Walters;

Natasha Walter’s book Living Dolls-the return of sexism, talks about the return of sexism to society and the use of gender stereotyping to enforce and often explain this sexism. The book is divided into two sections; The New Sexism and The New Determinism.

I found the first section to be a wholly compelling read, one that I could not put down and which had me nodding my head in agreement on every page. Walter’s sentiments during this first half of the book very often echo the opinions of fellow writer and Feminist, Levy, author of Female Chauvinist Pigs. Both agree that the current ‘raunch culture’ which appears to be engulfing all aspects of popular culture, from pop music to advertising, is casting women as little more than sexual objects. Young boys are growing up with little or no respect for women-viewing them merely as flesh to be admired for their own pleasure and judging women on their appearances and figures rather than their intellect and personalities. Walter’s notes that this hyper sexualising of women in society is often dismissed as a free choice or passed over as empowering and part of women’s liberation. Walter’s question’s this and urges us to consider whether or not this so called empowering behaviour might actually be degrading. We are also encouraged to ask how free these ‘free choices’ actually are, especially when the people making these choice are often ill-informed about the consequences of their decisions.

It was in the second section of the book the argument became less convincing. Where the first half of the book was thought-provoking, the second was weak with the writing often becoming repetitive with what some might consider to be a too-strong focus on stereotypes. Whilst I wholeheartedly agree that men and women should not be caged into gender specific boxes, at times I felt that Walter’s was overly dismissive of those whose interests naturally fell within the confines of gender stereotyping and did not consider that their could be any freedom of choice in this but that it must have been pressed onto people from childhood. Personally, my hobbies include sewing, knitting and baking-tasks traditionally considered feminine. These hobbies were never imposed on me by anyone but were things that I found a passion for in my early twenties. I felt that at times Walter implied that by enjoying these things I am less entitled to call myself a feminist or that I was buying into what society expected of me. This is completely in contrast to my personal experience. I have found that in general other people (men and women) have found it strange that I am interested in these things rather than expecting me to be because I am female. I am therefore inclined to disagree with not all, but many of the points made in this section of the book.

The book concludes by both marking and celebrating changes currently being made in society to close the gender gap. This section was the perfect ending to a thought provoking book which left me feeling good about all that women have achieved so far and optimistic for the future,. I hope that our generation and the next will not sit back complacently and take for granted all that feminists have achieved, but strive ever onwards in the quest for equality, not just here in the UK but also in developing countries where the women are not as fortunate as us.

Living Dolls certainly gave me food for thought and it is definitely worth a read for anyone on either side of the equality/stereotype debate.

I'm living for the weekend....

It's only Wednesday but already I've got that Friday feeling...


I'm so excited for the weekend already! It's my boyfriend's(yes we are engaged but I've taken a dislike to 'fiance') birthday next week so we are celebrating it this weekend. His brother, a few friends and one of my friends are coming up to London to stay with us for the weekend. On Saturday the lads are going to Twickenham to watch the rugby 7's (beach theme fancy dress-the photos should be comical!!). I was originally going to go but at £25 a ticket I decided to let them have a lads day whilst my friend and I go off for a girlie day-time and money well spent rather than wasted watching a sport I have only a minimal interest in.


The plan is to go shopping in the morning, stop somewhere for a nice lunch, and then a spa trip in the afternoon including a fish pedicure, massage and full use of the spa (take me to the sauna!!!!). I'm pretty excited for the fish pedi. I first saw it being done whilst on holiday in Singapore and have wanted to do it ever since but never gotten around to it. I'm a bit nervous because I have such tickley feet but it will certainly be an experience, and after another hectic week some time spent relaxing is just what the doctor ordered.


Then in the evening after a few drinks at home, we will be getting our gladrags on and heading out for food and drinks at a club in Picadilly Circus. I cannot wait, I love any excuse to get dressed up and it should be a proper weekend of fun. 


Happy wednesday people xx

Waiting for the beat to kick in....

Sometimes the only thing to do is smile! When you're in a really good mood and then the incompetence of others (read 'absolute idiots'!) makes you want to scream and punch things it's a real shame. Especially when this is a daily occurrence as it has been this week. 


Today I was in a brilliant mood after a very enjoyable yoga class and felt like nothing could bring me down. Then     I was faced with a situation that made me want to go back to bed and start the day all over again. After a frustrating day yesterday which left me exasperated beyond belief I decided that today nothing and no one was going to bring me down. So I dug out my inner actress and plastered the biggest smile ever on my face and pretended to be in the best mood ever. 


The funny this is, after 20 minutes of pretending to be really happy I actually felt even happier than I had in the first place. Proof  that it is really that simple to be in a good mood. I smiled so much to convince others that I was having a really good time that eventually I managed to even to convince myself.


So I'd like to finish by quoting Dan le sac vs Scroobius Pip;


'But the question I pose now will offer you a plan B, and maybe some peace and quiet for your friends and family, how hard is it to decide to be in a good mood, and then just be in a good mood?'

bloggers in boots

I entered a blogging competition this week, and for it I had to write about my most memorable festival experience...here's what I wrote:


Back in 2008 Reading was my first ever festival. Dragged along by friends I was expecting to hate it....no showers, make-shift toilets and sleeping on the floor....but i love it and have been going to festivals ever since including Freeze festival, Bestival and Glastonbury!

My most memorable festival moment so far has to be the Libertines reunion at Reading 2010. Having been a huge fan of the Libertines for many years one of my biggest regrets was never having seen them play live as a four piece. After they split I'd seen Pete and Carl play numerous solo slots and supported their new bands Babyshambles (pete), Dirty Pretty Things (carl) and The Invasion of (gary) at gigs across the country. Whilst they played all some classic libertines songs as part of their sets it just wasn't the same.

I'd already bought my ticket when the line-up was announced and actually screamed and cried when I saw them on the bill for Saturday! I was ecstatic! 

Seeing them up their on the stage was an experience I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams. \the atmosphere was incredible with thousands of fans singing every word. They played all the big hits and some of my lesser known favourites. The sheer chemistry between pete and carl was electric, and you could see that after all ups and downs they are still a great team. They bounced off one another, thrilling the crowd by singing into the same microphone and recreating the iconic poses from their album sleeves. Even the sound glitch and overcrowding problems couldn't bring me down after finally getting to see my all-time favourite band live on stage at Reading Festival, in what was one of the best moments of my life!

Spiritually speaking....

For years people have been encouraging me to do yoga and for years I said no. All that look through your third eye and learn to breathe stuff left me sceptical (I already breathe in and out countless times a day instructively in order to stay alive, i don't need to pay for a class to teach me that thank you very much!). But time and time again it was recommended to me as a brilliant form of exercise and relaxation. I'm  a stressy person by nature and rarely find the time to really relax so in theory a class that counted as both a work out and a way to relax should tick two boxes yes? Well i didn't think so- with no obvious cardio involved i didn't see how yoga could really be classed as exercise and having to actually go to a class didn't seem very relaxing to me. I was unconvinced.


Then, a few weeks ago the Shoreditch Sisters W.I. meeting that I attend each month had a yoga night. Keen for a catch up with friends and never wanting to miss out on activities at meetings I gave it a go....and now I'm hooked! 


Since my first yoga class that night I have joined a Bikram Yoga class and have been going every other day. Bikram is not the traditional form of yoga that I tried with the W.I. girls but is performed in a room heated to 40 degree centigrade in order to maximise sweating creating a detox effect. It also helps your flexibility to improve faster as your muscles respond more quickly when warm. 


I am really enjoying the classes and for the first time in my life I realise what it means to be truly relaxed. All the times I thought I had been relaxed before, the thoughts were still rushing through my head. Of course its human nature to think and we cant ever truly clear our minds of all thoughts but we can take those thoughts, acknowledge them and then file them away for later rather than following their progression. This is something I could never do before and since learning how to do this I find I can sleep so much better.


In addition to this I feel more flexible, and my skin feels so much better even after the few classes that I have been to. It is definitely something that I intend to keep up and have already recommended to mum!

busy busy

Today I have sent over 150 emails to agents complete with cv, photo and cover letter. I have put my determined head on this week and really set about being pro-active. If i do not hear anything positive back I will be very disappointed because I have put a huge amount of time and effort into it. 


Life has been rather hectic recently with rehearsals. I am looking forward to it all being done so that I can finally have a rest and get back to writing this blog and having a tidy home and a social life! For now though this has to come first, and with less than two weeks left to go until the performances the end is in sight.


The play is Playhouse Creatures by April de Angelis and we perform next friday and saturday. I play Mrs Rebecca Marshall-a character I absolutely adore and will be sad to see the back of.


For now though its all go go go!!


xxx