When choosing a topic for our dissertations we were told to pick something that we were passionate about and that relate directly or indirectly to dance. There was one clear topic that stood out for me to write about and that was Eating Disorders. There's the stereotypical idea of dancers living off celery and tissues; so clearly this was a topic inextricably linked with dance; and with many of my friends either suffering or now recovering from an eating disorder, it is certainly something that I am passionate about. The topic is a highly emotive and complex one, and is not simply a case of 'well she doesn't eat because she's a ballerina and thinks she's fat- she'll snap out of it'. They can be intense life-changing conditions.
Eating disorders can be triggered by psychological factors that have nothing to do with eating or losing weight, such as dealing with abuse or grief. Generally they are to do with the sufferer wanting to feel like they have control over at least one aspect of their lives; if they feel like their lives are spiralling out of their control, at least food is one thing they have total power over. The satisfaction from being told they look great having lost a few pounds, or the sense of achievement they feel from saying no to that oh so tempting slice of cake can become a powerful addiction that soon becomes so far out of that control they were seeking in the first place.
Once a person becomes locked into this sort of thinking, the media can become a dangerous weapon against oneself, and this is something that really got to me whilst researching for my dissertation. So taking a step aside from the causes and symptoms of eating disorders, i decided to look more closely at the society we live in. Once I did this I could see just how hard it is for these sufferers to break their vicious cycles of disordered eating.
It is so easy to get sucked into the diet culture. We are surrounded every single day by glossy images of airbrushed models beaming at us with their perfect white teeth, glowing tans and washboard flat stomachs from billboards, bus stops, the television, and magazine covers. These images of so called perfection encourage us to strive to be like them. Accompanied by adverts for new weight-loss techniques, super diet foods, miracle shakes, gyms and fitness videos, it is no wonder that the average woman is not happy with her body. Ask your girl friends and I bet nearly all of them are either on a diet now or have been at some point in their lives. And of these girls, how many would you consider actually need to lose a few pounds? How many are morbidly obese, obese or just a little overweight? very few i would imagine. How many of us moan about our bodies, put ourselves on a diet of near starvation, fail at it and then binge on chocolate to make ourselves feel better? I know I've done it! I know members of my family and many of my friends have too-male as well as female!
A bad body image makes us self concious and self-centred. Focusing on whether we look ok- 'does my tummy stick out, does my bum look big in this, what does he think when he sees me'. On a night out its not uncommon for a woman to spend more time fretting about what she looks like and how other people perceive her than having a good time with her friends. For this reason I am making a vow from now on to have a good time for the sake of having a good time and not worrying so much about how i look. after all, why should i care? My friends would still be there for me whether i was a size 6 or a size 26. My parents love me for who i am and certainly wont be disowning me for not going to the gym as often as i should. And my fiancé wants to marry me for who I am, not my dress size.
For all you single girls out there, I know its easier to say that to believe but the right man will love you for your personality, for the wonderful original being that is you no matter how big or small you are. So keep smiling, and live for the moment. And as for me, I cant promise i wont feel guilty after scoffing pizza and pick 'n; mix tomorrow night but I'll be making sure I have a great time while I do! And whilst keeping healthy and fit is important to me as a dancer, the biggest lesson I have learnt from all this dissertation research is that life is too short to count calories. We should be living our dreams not spending our lives dreaming of the foods we wont allow ourselves to have.
So for that reason- Size Zero Can Kiss My Ass xXx
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