Love - 'A wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart' (Anon)

Valentine’s is behind us for another year (thank goodness!!) but this year it got me thinking.

I personally do not participate in Valentine’s Day. I made a decision not to when I was younger and have always stuck to it whether single or in a relationship. I decided that it was nothing more than a Hallmark celebration to fill the hole left by Christmas and to generate revenue for card and gift companies. Restaurants and hotels charge extra for their usual services and the cost of flowers goes through the roof.  To be blunt, if you need a designated day to show someone you love, them then maybe not everything is as rosy as it seems?

I would prefer to mark other occasions such as the anniversary of your first date or something more personal. But that’s just me, and I understand that for other people Valentine’s is a big deal.

I do admit to tiny pangs of jealousy when I see pictures of friends beautiful flowers and hear about romantic weekends away, who wouldn’t? And it certainly made me reconsider the romance within my own relationship.

Every couple goes through that ‘honeymoon period’ when you have just got together and you are on your best behaviour. Each one of you is trying to impress and you can’t get enough of each other. Passion is high and everything is exciting and new.

After a while the first flushes of love (or more like lust!!) die down and you learn about the other person for who they truly are, and this is what really makes a relationship. When you can completely be yourself and you’re not afraid of your other half seeing you with your pyjamas on, no make-up, a bloated belly full of choccies, and legs that are in dire need of a shave....!!

Now that we have lived together for a while we are well and truly into the comfort zone. When we were long distance, Friday night was pre-weekend prep night: hair wash, long soak in the bath with a face mask, shave legs, moisturise, paint nails...Now, it’s more likely to be slobbing out in front of the TV with my hair in the kind of scrunchie you wore in year five at school and Tinkerbell PJs!

I also used to leave little notes of affection around the house if it was my turn to visit or post one if it he’d been up to me. It is the little things that show you care, not extravagant displays of affection.  I realise I haven’t made as much effort as I used to recently, and its these little things that you have to work at as time goes by. 

Valentine’s Day may be just a Hallmark holiday, but this year, its had one good purpose...to remind me what a good thing I've got. xxx